A serious epidemic is beginning and we need to stop it today
Steindór Þórarinsson • 29 August 2025 • 07:30
A fatigue no one should carry alone
I am tired of losing people I care about. Late in 2022 and into 2023 I came upon a friend’s suicide attempt. A month later a close colleague drove into the sea. Two months after that I lost another friend to substance use. Something broke. The system did not catch me. I got some help from people I worked for and could repay with my work. Not everyone can. We have to grip this now. I am tired. Very tired. But I refuse to give up. We have to catch the people who keep finding locked doors everywhere. Many do not have the kind of support I have when I need it.
A memory that will not be silenced
Recently I received the heartbreaking news that a friend of mine, one of the kindest souls I have known, took her own life. In her memory I posted on Facebook on 26 August.
The post that opened locked doors
Messages are still coming in. The post passed 150,000 views the afternoon of the next day. By dinner time that same day it was over 200,000. The day after, it reached 234,000 by late afternoon and about 243,000 that evening. As I write this it is around 251,000. I work in digital marketing and have run paid distribution. I have not seen reach like this before. It tells me one thing. I am not alone. Many are tired.
A reply that demands honesty
This piece is an answer to a person who commented under my post and asked directly why we fail to catch people earlier, why waiting lists never end, and what we will do today. I ask the same questions.
Living with a mind that needs help
I am tired, not only of keeping my head above water. I can manage, but I am tired of doing it alone. Even with friends and family beside me and while I study ADHD coaching, I still need professionals. I cannot afford the private route and have written about that before. I paid 150,000 krónur for a psychology assessment that confirmed what I already knew, that I have ADHD, with no guidance and no support, just a note that there is reading material online. I was 42 when I got that diagnosis. Then you need a psychiatrist’s evaluation and the wait is long. I decided to help myself, with the support of those close to me and sheer stubbornness. Not everyone has that support or that courage. Some need more. While we hear about a thirty day benchmark, the real wait can be counted in months and years.
Children on waiting lists are not numbers
At the same time people arrive in Iceland from war and live with trauma. The need for services is growing. The Children’s Ombudsman’s 2024 annual report paints a stark picture for children in serious distress, including waiting and fragmented services. These are not Excel lines. These are children. Fixing this is not only humane. It is common sense. Fewer suicides. Less hidden cost. Less pressure on health and justice systems. More participation in school and work. When people feel better, money is saved and lives are improved.
Questions for the conscience of the system and those responsible
Are we just numbers on your paper. Who is the person behind the line in Excel.
What is the name of the child who is on day 173 of waiting, and who calls them today.
Where do I begin if I am alone with a heavy mind and no money. Name a live pathway that works right now with a name and a phone number on your side, not a charity.
How many are waiting today for diagnosis and for first treatment. Not estimates, but a real number that updates daily.
What can we do today to reduce acute crises. Name three actions, who is responsible for each, and when they will show results.
Practical resources for those who need them
For those trying to find their footing with ADHD
https://www.visir.is/g/20232476298d/ad-rafa-um-volundar-hus-ein-mana-leikans-med-adhd
For family and friends who want to support
https://www.visir.is/g/20232494960d/ad-stydja-ast-vin-med-adhd-rad-fyrir-fjol-skyldur
I urge anyone who is struggling with dark thoughts, or who has a loved one who is, to contact Píeta at 552 2218 or visit www.pieta.is. The emergency line is open around the clock, every day. Píeta offers free, confidential support both for those thinking about ending their life and for their loved ones.
You are NEVER alone.
It is unbearably painful to hear that young, talented people are dying far too young. Dear friend, you will be deeply missed.
If you read this and you are tired, I want you to know that I see you. You are not alone. Sometimes we do not need advice so much as knowing someone is there. I ask the system for answers and accountability. I ask our community for empathy and presence. And I ask you who are reading to hold on to hope even if it is small today. It is still there. I am not giving up.
Here are three other opinion pieces that may offer a little light. I can only use my own experience and pass it on. I wish I could do more. But I am tired.
For those trying to find their footing with ADHD
https://www.visir.is/g/20232476298d/ad-rafa-um-volundar-hus-ein-mana-leikans-med-adhd
For family and friends who want to support
https://www.visir.is/g/20232494960d/ad-stydja-ast-vin-med-adhd-rad-fyrir-fjol-skyldur
For those of you who carry responsibility
https://www.visir.is/g/20242576883d/mannrettindi-folks-med-andleg-veikindi-eda-fiknisjukdoma-a-islandi-eru-litil-sem-engin
The author is a certified coach, writer, and editor of Samson.is and living with ADHD and PTSD.
